Monday, July 3, 2017

harmony = where edges of our perception meet

stream of consciousness - feelings I've gotten recently

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tingling in the third eye that - after my Reiki attunement - became even more intense and very pleasurable

occasional tingling of my crown, heart, solar plexus, sacral, and root chakra

tingling in my hands

feeling lighter

the feeling that I am no longer breathing in and walking through thin air, but rather breathing in and walking through a substance thicker than water. it is viscous, but not suffocating. rather, I get the feeling that I'm being supported.

likewise, when I speak, the words move out into this substance and therefore feel more powerful and likely to affect change

a little overwhelmed as I move from a place where very few things mattered, to a place where EVERYTHING that comes into my consciousness is of significance. every facebook post I see, everything every person says to me, every way the leaves on the trees bend, every bird, bat, and bug that appears in my brain. they are all telling me a story about how loved I am. at first, it made me feel like I was going insane, but now I know that it is the exact opposite. this is reverse paranoia. there is a great, amazing, HUGE force working in my favor. I have seen signs of this again and again and again. there is no doubt in my mind that this is true.

the feeling as if - when I'm breathing in and out - it's not only my mouth/lungs that the air is moving through, but also my third eye and occasionally my temples. it works kind of the way that gills do on a fish.

when I look someone in the eyes, I can actually physically FEEL them on my eyeballs.

when my third eye starts to feel strongly, it can almost be dizzying, but not in a bad way.

tingling in my heart chakra that almost makes me feel like I'm about to puke - but not in a bad way.

for the first few days after my Reiki attunement, my entire body and senses felt like a big raw nerve ending. this was pleasurable at times, but at other times it reached a point of agitation

realizing that I have a fear of intimacy

realizing that I have a fear of people - especially men - who I perceive to be in authority over me

the ability to breathe through my anxiety

the ability to feel calm and at ease in the presence of others

also - instead of sitting my kids in front of the TV while I go "get some stuff done," I'm doing more just sitting and hanging with them as they watch TV, play, or whatever. I'm not always bothered by the things that need to be done all the time.

I have not been quilting or creating anything at all. I have just been focusing on myself, with the faith that I will do what I'm meant to do when the time comes.

the general sense that it feels good to be alive

and the music. the music deserves another blog post. but it is just so completely amazing when I hear harmony. I picked up the fiddle for the first time in years, and I could actually FEEL it on my eardrums. here's a song that really gets me:



there are many many more, and I'll add them as they come to me

xoxo,
erin





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