forgive

The topic of martyrdom has been brought up into my awareness a lot lately, and was reinforced by my card pull of the hanged man in reverse.





Usually, the hanged man is hanging upside down, indicating a change in perspective, and “letting go.” However, the hanged man came out of my deck upside-down, which means he is standing upright (confusing, I know.) This indicates martyrdom, and I am guided to think about how martyrdom is the opposite of "letting go."

Many religions (if not all) speak often of forgiveness. We tend to think of forgiveness as something that makes a bit of a martyr out of us. If someone has done us wrong, somehow the forgiving of that makes us feel a bit above them, like the bigger person. Like we are doing the right thing even though they are not. We are sacrificing our own happiness in order to forgive them - we are becoming a martyr for their sake. That is how we generally look at forgiveness, and it serves no one. I have learned that to truly forgive, we need to make a 180 degree turn in our perspective (kind of like the hanged man does.) 

True forgiveness is realizing that there is nothing to forgive. In order to forgive another person for the pain they have caused us, we need to realize that everything is just as it is supposed to be. It was our own expectation that something should have turned out differently that creates the need to forgive in the first place. So we need to let that go.

Remember the fox that eats the hare? Remember the neutral and expanded perspective that makes it all okay? I am talking about that again. When we can let things be just as they are without feeling the need to change them, and be at peace in that space, then it is surprising just how fast the things we would like to change just fall away. When we focus on the thing that needs to change as a point of forgiveness, all we are doing is giving energy to the thing that needs to change. When we give our energy to it, we make it grow. The problem continues. To truly forgive, we need to let go of any expectations we had regarding the situation. Release our grip, remove our energy, and let it be as it is. Anything less than that is trying to solve a problem from the same level at which it was created, and Einstein tells us that is impossible. 

Einstein was a pretty smart guy. Just saying.

This is how "letting go" is the opposite of martyrdom, and also the key to our peace.

Below is one of my all-time favorite poems by Mary Oliver. I am including it here because of the line “There is still deep within you a beast shouting that the world is exactly what it wanted...Whether or not you have ever dared to be happy. Whether or not you have ever dared to pray.”

The world is exactly what it wanted. 

It is truly truly all good.

I would like to see this hanged man upside-down the way he belongs. I feel like he is a little uncomfortable the way he is right now. He wants to dangle 🤣. Think of something you can forgive, release your expectations over it,  and see what miracles occur.

xoxo,

erin