There are a lot of different reasons, and some are fairly obvious. To have a more fulfilling, happier life, to increase happiness, reduce stress, that kind of thing.
More tangibly I would like to have a beautiful house and yard that I am proud of. I would like to own a long-arm quilting machine to be able to finish my quilts on my own. I would like to be able to power my home and lifestyle using renewable energy. I want to build a little free library in my yard where the big oak tree fell down (more on that later), and I want to build it using wood from the tree. I would like to be able to home-school my children instead of work at the hospital as a nurse.
All this and so much more.
But the big big big one has to do with raising my kids. While I can say I am really proud of myself and the things that I do in life, at my core I have a terribly low self-esteem, coupled with anxiety. There is a lot of negative self-talk that happens, and it was instilled in me from a very young age. I can see the same thing in the women who came before me - far far far up the family tree. We teach each other how to put ourselves down as a function of our culture, and I believe it runs very deep in our psyche to where most of us don't even realize we're doing it. My big big BIG goal here is to break that pattern of thought so that I don't pass it on to my own children.
Also - I want to buy all the things. I LOOOOOOOOOOVE to shop!
That's all for now.
K thanks bye!
xoxo,
erin
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